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As a millennial, I feel a TON of pressure to do and be this bigger, badder version of myself.

I am fascinated by what I can do to grow, evolve, and keep up with the competition I’m faced with daily.

I often wonder where all this self-imposed pressure comes from. I also find myself wondering what my purpose is.

Was I born with a desire to lead?

Is it Instagram photos of people living the picture-perfect life?

Am I blessed+cursed with an overactive mind that can’t stop dreaming?

Is it LinkedIn updates of every hungry, competitive, driven entrepreneur I follow telling me it’s just a mindset, that I should go for it?

Or is it a need to further get to know myself better so I can get to the bottom of what really drives me?

Currently Reading: How To Lead When You’re Not In Charge

One of my resolutions in 2019 is to not only start books – but finish them.

I’m currently about halfway through a book I randomly found at CVS one night while browsing for Christmas stocking stuffers.

It’s called “How To Lead When You’re Not In Charge” and I was instantly curious.

In my current position, I’m in a place where I am successful, helpful and knowledgeable in my role, but I’m hungry to further expand and help others within the organization succeed.

This book couldn’t have popped into my life at a better time!

Today I’m sharing some “a-ha” moments I encountered because I know SO many of you, like me, are also inspired to turn up the volume on your potential – but aren’t quite sure where to start.

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Ambition Ignites the Flame

If you have a desire for more, if you wish to see change or if you want to make things better by leading, you are probably an ambitious person.

I’ve been ambitious for most of my life (even though, at times, I let myself get in the way of my ambitions).

What we do with the ambition is important. I believe having ambition is like the match to the fire. It is what helps start the flame.

But if you light the fire of ambition, it can get out of control if you aren’t equipped with the right tools or don’t have the right mindset.

Don’t get me wrong – I believe ambition is a God given gift.

Without ambition, you wouldn’t have a desire for more. But it’s important to understand that ambition should not be the only driving force behind your why.

When asked, “Why do you want to lead? Why do you want to start this brand? Why do you want this promotion?” the answer, “because I’m driven and ambitious” isn’t going to be strong enough for you or the person who asked (whether it be management or your target audience).

Ambition is meant to be the tool the ignites your flame, but what makes the fire is where purpose lives.

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You Are Never Fully In Charge

Before we dive head into what I learned about purpose through this book, it’s important to realize a big, and sometimes scary thing.

Especially for those of us who tend to be anxious.

The realization that we are never fully in charge is a big one. It’s a scary one. But it’s the cold, hard truth.

In prior jobs, I would convince myself that “if I would just get the guts to start my own business I wouldn’t have to deal with the lack of control and vision I experience in my day job.”

I convinced myself I would have more control, which I believed would lead to more happiness and more fulfillment.

This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Customers, readers, employees, investors, and others all will have a level of control over you, regardless of what you do.

I also believe that God ultimately has control over all things and I struggle with this to this day. It is one of my biggest weaknesses that I pray on the most.

But really taking this fact in and breathing through the reality is something so essential when doing the work of finding your purpose and pursuing a role of leading.

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Finding Your Purpose

With the God given gift of ambition, the healthy fear of God, the total and full surrender of control, comes the underlying question.

What is my purpose?

I found so much joy and peace in such a simple command found in the bible:

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.”

This, to me, says be thankful for everything in your life. The earth, the roof over your head, the trees outside, animals, co-workers, spouses, friends, moms, dads, brothers, sisters, jobs, the mail man, the stars.

It also says love everything – regardless. Love on the coworker who tries to bring you down. Love on the neighbor who is in everyone’s business. Love on the friend who doesn’t know how to love herself.

Whether you are religious or not – I believe our purpose here is to love. And I find so much peace in that.

It starts with ourselves enough so that we can love others.

Once we get there, it’s about looking at how we can cultivate our relationships to help other people.

How can we get behind others to help them succeed?

How can we create an environment to allow others to thrive while offering our time, attention, care and humble correction?

Remembering that leading is simply serving will help get things into perspective.

The current things I’m focusing on improving after reading this book:

  • Be marked with humility because I know that pride set me against others, myself, and God.
  • Be courageous because I believe in leading by example and that God controls our destiny
  • Create processes and create organization for the betterment of all
  • Use my influence to help others to get ahead
  • Open up and pour out my heart, trusting that God’s new mercies each day will be enough to fill me up.

All of these things were such HUGE statements for me to absorb. I went back and slowly ready them out loud to myself.

These statements created a strong sense of calm. Clarity. Peace.

& most importantly, purpose.


As you may notice, I’m currently intrigued by this topic and have opened my heart to learning how to find peace in our purpose. What has helped you find purpose?